


so baby, pull me closer

by onlyjams (weareinnoir)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Exes, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Valentine's Day, awkward small talk, i hate this & myself for writing it, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:14:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29389662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareinnoir/pseuds/onlyjams
Summary: Maybe he's falling back in love. Or maybe he never really fell out.
Relationships: Shiroiwa Ruki/Yonashiro Sho
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	so baby, pull me closer

If it wasn't February 14th, it'd be perfect. 

Ruki idly swirls his wine and gazes into nothing; there's not much more pathetic than being alone at a bar on what's supposed to be the most romantic night of the year. He's barely tipsy, just _sad_ , alone with his thoughts and with a long, lonely night ahead of him. It's the perfect atmosphere, and that makes everything hurt that much more — dim lights, romantic music playing over the bar's speakers. He spends... a maybe-distressing amount of nights at this bar, by himself, but those nights don't feel like this; the romance in the rest of the world pressing inside is what makes everything feel particularly rough. 

He wishes, a half-thought in the back of his head, that someone would come up to him — he's had his fair share of hookups over the past few years, and he's lucky enough that he hasn't really had to approach anyone himself; he also wishes, though, that he didn't have to make that wish — that he even had the ability to stick to something long term.

Maybe the world answers him; maybe somewhere, a monkey's finger curls down. 

The voice is low, soft, and gentle; just hearing it makes something squeeze in Ruki's chest. He knows it well, has heard the name it says fall from it a million times, in a million situations. "...Ruki? Is that you?"

Ruki turns. He manages — well, forces — a smile, ignoring the way his voice almost breaks when he responds. "Sho. It's... been a while."

The other man — god, he'll be 30 in October if Ruki's math is right (it is; he always gets moody on October 25th, as sure as clockwork every year, for reasons Ruki refuses to talk about if he's asked) — is as tall and handsome as ever, those dark eyes glinting in the bar's muted lightning, his black hair impeccably styled; Ruki can tell that his clothes are nicer ones than Sho wore when they were dating, but they're still _him_ , somehow cozy and homey while still showing off what's an obviously toned physique. (If Ruki notices Sho's eyes flitting over him — no doubt doing the same thing in his own mind, marking down every place where Ruki's changed — he lets a comment on that die before it reaches his tongue.)

"It has," Sho echoes. "Sorry, do you mind if I...?" He gestures at the empty seat next to Ruki, his other hand curling just a little. 

_I did wish for this,_ Ruki thinks. There's a part of him that hates this — a part of him that just wants to _run_ — but he doesn't. "Go ahead," he says.

Sho's still _taller_ , damn it — he slides into the seat and Ruki feels _small_ , the way he used to, when he'd spend nights tucked into the corner of Sho's arms. "Thanks."

Ruki bites his lip and nods. "Yeah."

It's an admittedly awkward silence for a few moments, while Ruki's heart beats in his chest like a metronome and Sho orders a drink — something strong, Ruki notes. (He takes a long sip of his own wine, a little bit too quickly, feeling all at once like he needs it.) 

"So... you're here," Ruki says, when he trusts himself to. "This bar. Of all the bars in Tokyo."

"I showed you this place, remember?" Sho says, a small smile crossing his face. "Back when... I was friends with the bartender."

It's an almost-clever way saying _back when we still were dating_ that Ruki appreciates. "A while ago."

"Years," Sho agrees. "And we haven't talked since... then."

"That we haven't," Ruki says. "Cheers to... reunions?" he tries, in an attempt to drink more, and maybe make the atmosphere a little less stifling. 

"...Reunions," Sho says, with a nod and a note of hesitance in his voice. "And chance encounters." He downs the majority of his drink in one fell swoop before ordering another. Ruki comes close to doing the same. 

"...I guess this is where I ask you what you've been up to, these past few years," Sho says, finally. "Still doing music?"

Ruki nods. "Yeah, actually. Session music, mostly — for idols and the like."

Sho raises his eyebrows. "Anything I would've heard?"

"Most likely." Ruki pulls out his phone, navigating to a the Oricon weekly charts. "I'm the guitar on... #3, #7, and #8."

Sho lets out a low whistle. "Wow. And you're liking it?"

"It's not _exactly_ what I expected," Ruki admits. He remembers his dreams, back when he was dating Sho — the sketchy live houses he'd play at and the too-much-cheap-alcohol he'd end up drinking — and shakes his head. "But I'm happy. And a lot healthier than I was, too."

Sho smiles. He's so radiant that Ruki has to look away. "I'm happy to hear that," Sho says, nodding. "Can't say I ever expected you to get involved idols, though — though I guess you have the face for it."

Ruki raises his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Just, you know." Sho clears his throat. "That you're... handsome."

Ruki chuckles and blushes, shaking his head and quickly changing the subject. "And you? Things are good? Business?"

Sho's shoulders straighten; a prideful grin crosses his face. "This article about us went viral — voted best coffee shop in Shibuya for about... three years in a row. Things are going really well."

"Congratulations," Ruki says, with a genuine smile, instead of _I know_ or _sometimes I pass by and wonder if I should stop by to see you, but I always stop myself, because I get scared._ "I mean, the Daily Grind is your baby — you must be happy to see it flourishing."

"Absolutely. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Sho takes another long sip of his drink; that same uneasy, awkward silence washes over them again, and Ruki fidgets. His next sentence is kind of a blurt, one he'll blame on the alcohol, surely, if things go wrong — "So you're single?"

Sho nearly drops his drink, eyes widening as Ruki's words hit his ears. "What?"

"I mean." Ruki tries to stop the redness from rising up his face, but it doesn't work. "You're here, on Valentine's day. By yourself. I just assumed —"

"No, you're right. I'm very single, actually," Sho says, sighing. "I planned on just... showing up and drinking my heart out, until..."

 _Until I saw you._ He doesn't have to say it out loud. Ruki nods. "You and me both."

"Have you... been with anyone? Since then," Sho asks. There's curiosity in his voice, and _hope_ that makes Ruki's chest squeeze. 

Ruki shakes his head. "Several one night stands, but nothing that lasts. I don't want it to." _It's easier like that,_ he thinks, though it sounds like a lie, all of a sudden. "You?"

Sho's lips quirk; it isn't a smile, not quite. "I've been in a few relationships. Longer term stuff."

"How's it gone?" Ruki asks. (He tries not to sound jealous. He isn't. Why would he be?)

"I'll meet a guy at work, or... out and about. Things last for a while, and I think things are going well. They always say the same thing, though," Sho says, with a sigh. 

"And what same thing is that?"

Sho's grip on his glass tightens, just a little, his eyes distant and intense all at once. "That I'm pretty fucking clearly not over my ex."

Ruki stills; the realization that it's _him_ Sho's talking about hits a moment later than he expects, his lips forming a silent _oh_. "Sho —"

Sho stands up, his glass clattering. "I — I should go —"

"Wait." Ruki finds himself grabbing on to Sho's sleeve, stopping him from leaving. If he's drunk or if it's something else — something he doesn't want to give a name to — he isn't sure. "Wait. Just..."

"...It was a mistake. Coming to this bar." Sho doesn't make any move to stop Ruki from holding on to him, even as the words spill from his mouth. "I knew you liked this place — there must've been something, some part of me that wanted to see you again. This was a mistake."

"It doesn't have to be," Ruki says, quietly. His eyes meet Sho's — there's something in them, dark and enticing and all too familiar, that Ruki tries his best to match. "Do you think you're good to drive?"

"...I can call a cab," Sho says, after a long pause, with a small nod. "My place. It's close."

Ruki smiles. He feels victorious, for some reason. "Then let's get out of here," he says, standing up. He'd wished for a hookup — that wish had come true. He tries to ignore the fact that his heart is pounding like a metronome, for some reason, as the two of them exit the bar. 

* * *

It's a short cab ride to Sho's place; Ruki keeps his hand on Sho's thigh, squeezing it every now and then out of nervousness. The both of them stumble out and nearly run inside; Ruki doesn't have time to react to just how _nice_ the place is before he's being kissed, hard, Sho's open mouth pressing against his. He tastes like whiskey and ginger ale — it's familiar, and Ruki misses it, he realizes. He's moving before he knows it, pressing Sho against the wall, running his fingers through the elder's hair. Sho lets out a grunt — _god_ , Ruki's missed the noises he always makes, too — as his hands meet Ruki's hips, and then move lower, squeezing his ass. 

"You missed me," Ruki breathes when he pulls away, burying his face in Sho's neck, planting soft kisses just below his ear. "You really fucking missed me, didn't you?"

"So — _fuck_ — so much," Sho gets out, tilting his head to give Ruki more access. He's so... so _pliant_ , so willing to let Ruki do whatever it is that he wants, that it only spurs Ruki on further; he finds one spot that has Sho choking on moan after moan (god, he's still so loud — he's still never learned how to hold back, and Ruki's grateful for it, somehow) and focuses on it. There'll be a bruise there in the morning, he's sure, but Sho _did_ always like getting marked up. 

He feels himself being pushed away, not as a _no_ , but as a pause, after a moment — Sho's looking at him, pupils blown, breath hot and heavy. "Can we..." he starts, taking a moment to catch his breath before he continues, "can we move this to my bedroom? Please?"

Ruki smirks. "Well, you said please," he replies, pecking Sho's lips. "Show me the way."

Sho smiles, seeming genuinely relieved, as he takes Ruki's hand and leads him down a hallway. It's a nice bedroom; Ruki notes the acoustic guitar in the corner and the bookshelf, probably full of cheesy romance novels, against one of the walls. But he doesn't really have time to take in the decor before Sho's lips are back on his; he more or less falls on top of Sho, straddling him, occasionally grinding his hips against Sho's growing erection. 

His hands crawl up Sho's sweater as their kiss continues. Sho's muscles are still so perfect, so warm, and the way they tense under Ruki's fingers send blood rushing directly to his cock. His hands move higher up, to Sho's chest; Sho breaks away from the kiss then, biting his lip on a groan. 

"You're still sensitive there," Ruki murmurs, relishing in the way Sho jerks and twitches as he caresses his pecs and nipples. 

Sho responds with a long, low moan, his hips bucking upwards. Ruki shivers a bit at the sensation; the fact that he, himself, is also very, _very_ hard hits him like a truck. He unbuttons his shirt and tosses it to the side before helping Sho out of his. "What do you want to do next?" Ruki asks, slowly moving his hands over Sho's toned arms. 

Sho shivers under Ruki's touch. "What do you think?" he hisses, at the exact point between _frustrated_ and _loving every minute of this_.

"If you don't say it, I can't —"

"Fuck me like you used to," Sho manages. "Whatever you want, there's stuff in the top drawer, just, _please_..."

A thrill goes through Ruki — it's kind of exhilarating, thinking that _he's_ the one that has this grip on Sho, even after all this time. Some part of him — the part that always used to get jealous at the friendly rapport Sho used to have with that tall customer at his coffee shop — really, _really_ likes that, deep in his lungs; it makes heat curl in his stomach. His lips curve into an affectionate smirk. "Then let's get you ready."

He gets off of Sho — reluctantly — to pull out a small bottle of lube and a condom from Sho's chest of drawers; he hears Sho rustling on the bed behind him, no doubt taking off his pants and boxers. Sure enough, he's completely naked when Ruki turns back around. The sight of him — his muscular legs, the way his untouched cock is twitching and leaking — is... invigorating, to say the least. Ruki doesn't waste any time moving back, pressing a kiss to the side of Sho's mouth as he coats his fingers in lube.

He's more familiar with Sho's body, still, than he expects; he finds himself anticipating the way Sho's body tenses when he slides one finger in. He lets out a noise — something between a hiss and a gasp — at the feeling of it. "You're doing so well," Ruki murmurs, pressing a kiss against Sho's cheek. He feels Sho smiling against him; he takes that as a sign that he's ready for another finger. 

Sho lets out another choke-hiss, and Ruki's worried, for a second, that it's too much; that fear is quickly unfounded, however, when he finds that spot that has Sho curling in, hips driving down, chasing more of that feeling. Ruki smirks. He feels like he's won, but it's not over yet. There's an idea blooming in his head — or that corner of jealousy — that he wants to execute.

"Say you missed me," Ruki says, fingers curling against Sho's prostate. 

"Ha- _ah_ — I missed — I missed you, fuck," Sho moans, instantly. "So much, Ruki, _please_."

"Tell me you've thought about me," Ruki continues, sliding in a third finger as he does so. "All those guys who said you weren't over me — you weren't, were you?"

"It's always been you —" Sho gets out; Ruki takes notes of the way one of his hands is clutching at the sheets of the bed and involuntarily licks his lips. "It's always been you. It always will." 

"Good," Ruki whispers, his breath hot against Sho's cheek, as he removes his fingers and fumbles with his own pants, succeeding after a moment at pulling them off. "That's all I needed to hear."

With that, he fills Sho up, resting inside once he's there completely. "Tell me when I'm good to move," he murmurs, feeling Sho's large hands wrap around his back, pulling him closer. 

"...Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Sho says, after a moment. His voice sounds hoarse already. Ruki starts thrusting slowly and steadily — just the way Sho always liked it. (He's probably still a romantic, Ruki thinks. It'll be for the best if he takes his time.)

 _I want to be the only one who sees you like this,_ Ruki thinks, watching Sho's muscles tense and release, the way his face looks with every thrust. He's a lot closer than he realizes, a lot faster, too, but it's Sho that he's focusing on, completely. 

Maybe he's falling back in love. Or maybe he never really fell out. 

He bites down on Sho's shoulder as his orgasm hits him mid-thrust; he rides it out, reaching down to stroke Sho's cock. It's not long before Sho's coming, too, spilling white on to Ruki's hand. The two of them lay there for a moment. Ruki _could_ ask to go home. 

Instead, he mumbles, "Can I take a shower? And maybe borrow some clothes?"

Sho laughs — of all of the noises Sho's made tonight, that's the one that makes affection bubble in Ruki's chest the most. He feels the top of his head being kissed as Sho nods. "As long as we can cuddle first," Sho says, to which Ruki readily agrees. 

* * *

There's nobody else in bed with him when Sho wakes up.

He sighs. He should've known things would end like this — last night was fun, the best he's felt in a _long_ time, but he was foolish for getting his hopes up, wasn't he?

He stands up, stretching, and pulling on a T-shirt before walking into his kitchen to make coffee. Maybe the caffeine will hide the way his heart is breaking; maybe just a day at work will —

"You're awake," Ruki says. 

Sho startles and turns. "You... are here," he replies. "I thought you left."

"I don't have my insomnia meds here," Ruki explains, "so I kind of... was awake at 4 in the morning. But it's okay — I ran to the store and got you these." 

He then stands up and thrusts a box of chocolates — expensive chocolates, Sho can tell just by looking, that are apparently espresso-flavored — into Sho's hands. 

"I know they're a day late," Ruki says, cheeks pink. "And that they're not homemade, but they're really expensive, so —"

"They're perfect," Sho interrupts. "But why...?"

"I realized some stuff last night," Ruki explains. "And I don't want to let you go again."

"You really want to start things with me again because we had good sex?"

Ruki shakes his head. "I want to start things with you again because I miss you like crazy."

Sho steps closer. Ruki's avoiding his gaze, but the honesty in his voice is unmistakable. "You laughed, and... it genuinely felt like when we first met," Ruki continues, voice quiet. 

"We'll have to do things differently," Sho says, trying his _hardest_ not to break out into the biggest smile he's ever had. "We need to talk about things better — you need to let me know if you're ever feeling scared or nervous, okay?" He cups Ruki's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. The younger leans into his touch, and Sho falls in love all over again.

"I know," Ruki says, finally. "I will. So is that a yes?"

Sho responds by wrapping his arms around Ruki's waist, picking him up and spinning him around. "Of course it's a yes," he says, when he puts Ruki down. "It always will be."

Ruki smiles, hugging Sho back. He thinks, briefly, that maybe February 15th is a better day for love, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> hello new pseud hello first fic of the year. this wasn't gonna be porn but then i was trying to bump up the word count and ? here we are. also the title is from closer by the chainsmokers, a song i have mixed feelings about because i'm from one of the cities it's mentioned. 
> 
> follow me on twitter and yell at me for writing porn: @noir_fics
> 
> regularly scheduled fics that suck but not this badly may return someday!


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